Saturday, September 13, 2008

A Kerala Communist Primer

This is the last post that shall rear its ugly head on This blog, due to inactivity, is moving to Wordpress -, hoping that the change of host shall result in a spurt of activity. Yes, it's rather like Ektaaaa KKKappooor affixing extra ts and Ks and as to get people watching. And I think it works; if it weren't for the extra Ks strewn all over the place, I can't imagine even most the addled housewife watching Kyonki Saans bhi kabhi bahu thi.

But if this blog must die, let it never be said that it did not die with an all-powerful bang (possibly from the barrel of a gun fired at me by a comrade peeved by what follows).

If you are ever to visit Kerala, you might notice these strange blokes in white, starched dhotis waving red flags about the place. How you react to this depends on where you're from.

If you're American, you'll probably dash a letter off to homeland security advising them that Indians are commies, and it's best to keep them out.

If you're British (and a member of the TUC), you shall shed copious tears as your mind harks back to the joys that Thatcher snatched away from you.

If you're from anywhere in the rest of India, you'll probably sit down waiting to see the police descend upon the crowd and beat the crap out of them for daring to protest. And be disappointed to note that the police are sloganeering themselves.

But whatever your particular persuasion, I am sure you would appeciate a quick primer on what the communists and other miscellaneous protesters in Kerala mean when they shout out loud as they block traffic on the main street.

1. Communistaykyam zindabad:
Translation: Long live international Communist unity.
What they really mean: Remember, Beijing is paying your bills.

2. Vidyaarthiaykyam zindabad:
Students of the world, unite.
What they really mean: What fun it is to spend all day out in the sun, instead of staying cooped up listening to the capitalist claptrap the bourgeois try to pass on to us as education.

3. Loka thozhilaalikale onnikyu:
Workers of the world, unite.
What they really mean: Let Kerala not be the only place where nobody does any work.

4. Poticheriyan vilangukal:
Translation: Break and cast aside the capitalist chains.
What they really mean: Bankrupt the idiot who's given us a job by protesting all day outside the factory.

Sakhakkalae munnott:
Translation: Onward, Comrades.
What they really mean: Let's protest until we have a dictatorship of the proletariat that puts an end to all of this meaningless protest.

6. Inquilab zindabad:
Translation: Long live the Revolution.
What they really mean: We know the revolution ended years ago/never happened, but we're not going to stop blocking traffic, merely because of trifles like that, are we?

Brought to you by the boys of the Sakhaavu Lenin Proletarian Reading Room and Youth Club, Thodupuzha, Kerala.