'mulla,,, tumhe toh alla nahi bachapaya ab SRI RAM hi bachayega... '
'I saw abhi f*cked aishwarya in the ass. It was vairy nice'
and many more such gems.
Every single discussion board turns into either a North/South or a Hindu/Muslim squabble. But, I guess arguing and hating each other (ref: Russell Peters) is as much in our blood as some good curry! :) But, what really really pisses me off - and what drives me to write this post is what I've been reading inthe message boards while following rediff's (totally over-the-top and tabloidy) coverage of the Abhiwarya (sic) wedding.
Apart from the aforementioned perverts who derive their sexual pleasures from being voyeurs, the message board abounded with plenty of Indian culture vultures who persisted in asking the question of whether Aishwarya was a vergin? Which, I assume, of course, means virgin.
Apart from the biological illogicality of staying celibate till one's 33 (or however old Ms. Rai is), the question is - what business is it of these idiots?
And if this wasn't bad enough, there are plenty of these people who prowl our streets, asking the same question of the average Indian girl. Oh, and if she's not a virgin, the heavens have fallen, Indian culture is not what it used to be, and the woman is such a slut! And of course, all of us have heard of the stereotypical 'easy white woman'.
This kind of behaviour, in my opinion, has nothing to do with a staunch belief in Indian culture or whatever passes for it, and everything to do with voyeurism coupled with deep-seated desperation.
The same kind of voyeurism which requires every bloke to ask other blokes what they've been doing with their girlfriends. Er... alright, I am not entirely free of guilt on this count, but I never said I was perfect. To quote Immortal Technique at this juncture, 'I'm just a man, nigger. Don't follow me, nigger'.
What these people, and the morons who've taken Shilpa Shetty to court, need to take note of, is this. Last I heard, the preamble of the Indian constitution declares India a 'sovereign, secular, democratic republic'. The operative words here are - secular and democratic.
Secularism means that whether you wear saffron robes and spear young couples with your trishuls, or don skull caps and issue fatwas against immorality, you have no right to do so! Your religious views are yours, and yours alone. The government of this country subscribes to no religion, and therefore, the people of this country are free to choose to follow any set (or subset) of religious beliefs without having to face sanction from a bunch of interfering, self-righteous twats who take the name of God in vain.
The word democratic goes even further. It means that every Indian citizen is free to do as he pleases, unless he causes harm or hurt to another. If you are hurt by a couple making love in their apartment, stop looking through the bleedin' window. If your sentiments are shocked by a couple sharing an intimate moment in public, look away. They're not killing each other; they're merely expressing their affection for each other. If you were honest to yourself, you would admit that the only reason why you find it so damn objectionable is because you know no girl in her right mind would give you the time of day.
Consensual sex is the most private of acts, in that it involves nothing that is not one's own (unless one's been pilfering condoms at the chemists', but that's a different story). It doesn't hurt anyone. At worst, it can hurt oneself. Well, it is every adult's choice to subject his body to whatever he or she wishes to. It is not the business of the RSS, VHP, Shiv Sena, or Shahi Imam Syed Bukhari to interfere.
And if this democratic republic of ours does not grant us this most basic of freedoms, we need to urgently reword our constitution.
Until then, I suggest either: a) migrating to a country where you are allowed to impose your beliefs on others, or b) shutting the f*ck up!
Till then, no sex please, we're Indian. We have 1.13 billion people - each one an immaculate conception.