Kalpesh bin Laden – who came out of the closet just about when Osama stepped into one, (I mean the terrorist hide-out kind-of closet, you perverts!), George (of the Jungle), and Shehzad
Siddhu Warrier is an intellectual prostitute ekeing out a parlous living in Aberdeen. He stands where he does having previously tried his hand at being an academic flunkie. Before being offered a position of flunkitude somewhere in Scotland, he spent two years loafing about in Europe at the taxpayers' expense. Harking back even further into the mists of time, he spent four years at a second rate institution pretending to study Computer Science at the expense of another taxpayer (who happens to be his father).
He is also renowned for having attempted (unsuccessfully) to inflict his beastly presence on a succession of his female compatriots, who heaved a collective sigh of relief when a kind Russian dyevushka took him out of circulation.
He also wants to write a book one of these days, rather like every English speaking Indian who knows to use Microsoft Word's spellchecker. This has led to the US state department classifying him as a weapon of mass boredom (WMB).